Nov 8 2013

Satya 2- Movie Review


Satya 2 posterRam Gopal Verma’s films have been going downhill for a long time now and Satya 2 hits a new low in his film career. To be honest, I didn’t expect better.

The story is about this guy called Satya (Puneet Singh Ratn, a ‘ratn’ by no means) who has a plan to start an underworld company called ‘Company’ and change the face of the Mumbai Underworld. Apart from this cold blooded side to his personality, his softer side yearns for love from his girlfriend who’s new to Mumbai, just like him but lives the life of a village girl with all the innocence and naïveté. Can Satya keep up with both his love and company?

I don’t understand why Ram Gopal Verma even makes films anymore! His sense of direction is going to the dogs. Radhika Anand who’s written the film was probably too stoned to write and so the translation we get to see is nothing but a bunch of amateurs trying to act. The screenplay moves at a snail’s pace with the look of a film that is not even half as good as the mafia films Company or Once upon a time in Mumbaai. I hadn’t seen Satya which was supposed to be a damn good film back then with some great performances. For Satya 2, there’s nothing praiseworthy apart from the cinematography by Vikash Saraf that too in parts. The ‘Eagle eye view’ angle is annoying and not smooth at all. In fact, it makes Mumbai only look bad.

The costumes and make up are alright. The village girl look doesn’t really go with the film but then nothing does. The background score by Shkti Krthick is good in parts but otherwise ok. The music is forgettable but I liked the way the first romantic song in the movie was shot. The slow motion shots with the water look beautiful.

We all know that when we judge a film, it has a lot to do with performances. In this one, I can only point out one actor who acted well. He’s not even the lead actor- Puneet Singh Ratn but Mahesh Thakur who we rarely see playing an important role in a film. In Satya 2 he’s brilliant and should be noticed. Lead actor Puneet Singh Ratn with his monotonous voice and expressionless face makes you want to go to sleep. I get that he was supposed to play this serious, man-on-a-mission character but his portrayal is of someone who’s just trying to act smart. The actress who plays his girlfriend (Anaika Soti) looks pretty but has a constant pout (to look like an innocent villager?). Acting-wise very ok. The actress who plays ‘Special’- Aradhna Gupta is not bad. Everyone else is not important to mention also.

Overall, Satya 2 was a waste of time and money. I really wish this is Ram Gopal Verma’s last film as a director!

Rating– 1/5

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Oct 25 2013

Ishk Actually- Movie Review


Ishq Actually posterI think something’s terribly wrong with Rajeev Khandelwal. No, I mean it! Seriously!  Ishk Actually actually sucks. Here’s why.

Gia (Neha Ahuja) is this woman who is about to get engaged to her boyfriend (Rayo Bakhirta) but everything changes when she meets Neil (Rajeev Khandelwal) with whom she had a one night stand some time ago. With lots of flashbacks and flash’fronts’, we must deal with what will happen to Gia’s love story. Will she marry this man who loves her like crazy or go back to the man with whom she fell in love?

I can’t believe Rajeev Khandelwal did this film! I really thought an actor with his caliber would choose something that will get him one step higher as an actor. Maybe he had his reasons to do it but either way, bad choice. Director Anish Khanna is not only poor with his directorial debut but has also made a film that bores to the core with its pace and uninteresting story. With a theatre filled with…wait for it… 9 people (including me), 4 of them (from London) had come to watch it thinking they would get to see a typical Bollywood movie. Sadly but not surprisingly, they walked out of the theatre in the interval wishing me luck. Haha! Bad screenplay, bad direction, bad story and bad acting.

What I really liked about the movie was the cinematography. Sheer brilliance in every frame. And I mean it. Visually the film is beautiful! Duleep Regmi, take a bow. Also the styling and art direction is very good. Great locations and sets.

The background music is lovely. Even the music for that matter is not bad. I found myself enjoying the nightclub song- ‘Lucky tonight’ and another romantic song called ‘Aye dil bata’. Its melodious and nice to listen to.

Acting wise, Rajeev Khandelwal disappoints and mainly because he’s not put his heart and soul into it and you can see it. He looks like a hot Italian though and you can’t stop staring at him when he’s on screen. Neha Ahuja can never be an actress because she’s horrible at it. She can do modelling or come in ads though. Rayo Bakhirta is ok. He’s good only in parts. Ann Mitchai with her accent is ok but still doesn’t do much to save the sinking ship. All the other actors are strictly ok.

So basically Ishk Actually is the worst movie I have seen in 2013. Even the Rajeev Khandelwal fans will be disappointed. Please avoid.

Rating– 1/5

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Oct 9 2013

Besharam- Movie Review


besharam_posterIf Ranbir Kapoor’s worked his magic on you in the past, there’s no doubt you’d watch Besharam! I went for it in spite of the horrible reviews I read and heard. In fact, I was so excited to watch it that I was contemplating watching it in Dubai where I was on a holiday. Now that I think of it, I’m glad I didn’t waste a single dirham on it. Satyaanaash ho gaya!

Babli (Ranbir Kapoor) is a car thief who steals and then sells cars to support children from an orphanage he grew up at. He falls in love with a girl whose car he steals. Now there’s this mafia/don (Javed Jaffrey) who buys that stolen car and has a huge sum of money in the car. To win the love of Tara, Ranbir goes back to stealing her car for her only to be chased by cops who are husband and wife (Rishi Kapoor & Neetu Kapoor). Will Mr. Besharam succeed and get both the love of his life and her car back?

Abhinav Singh Kashyap who’s directed Dabangg has gone down several levels where his direction skills are concerned. Not that I thought highly of Dabangg, but Besharam is quite bad! The problem starts with the story and screenplay itself. Shabbily written. The styling that way is not bad and the look as a whole of the entire film can be compared to any blockbuster film. So the makeup, hair, costumes stylists and art direction team has done a very good job. The cinematography by Madhu Vannier is very good too. The action scenes have been well designed.

The background music is not bad but the music by Lalit Pandit is very average. The song ‘Dil ka jo haal hai’ is one of the nicer songs but is very 90s. All the other songs are ok.

The performances are top class. Ranbir Kapoor as usual gives his best, Rishi Kapoor is Chulbul Chautala is convincing and so is Neetu Kapoor as Bulbul Chautala. They both are great together. Pallavi Sharda who is a new actress is not bad at all but doesn’t match up to Ranbir Kapoor. Javed Jaffrey who plays a negative character is superb! I really wish he was seen more in films. Even as a baddie, he’s amazing to watch! Himani Shivpuri is a bit annoying and you’d wish she wasn’t there in the film at all. Amitosh Nagpal who plays Ranbir’s friend in the movie is good.

As a film, Besharam fails to entertain and I feel bad for Ranbir Kapoor. From a film graph that was only going up, this one goes way back to the Saawariya category even though as an actor he remains at the top. So yeah, I obviously agree with everyone else who’s seen Besharam and said it sucks! Do not watch it!

Rating– 1.5/5

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Jul 12 2013

Sixteen- Movie Review


Sixteen movie poster

An interesting concept with a trailer that would get the youth excited to watch the movie. How interesting ‘Sixteen’? You’re just about to find out.

As the title suggests, the movie is about a group of sixteen year olds in college trying to figure out life, society and themselves. They deal with all sorts of things- love, sex, career, family pressure and what not. It’s the kind of phase where they feel everything is against them and so there’s a reason to feel accepted, to be willing to do whatever it takes.

Now, there are a number of subplots woven into one big story that make sense. What doesn’t make sense is everything else about the movie. Let me elaborate. The screenplay writer & director Raj Purohit was a bit too confident about making a youth film that would appeal to the masses. Sadly, it lacks everything a film should have. The styling is decent and the cinematography is alright. There are too many songs in the movie and that gets a bit annoying but atleast they help the story move along and are not just dance numbers.

Coming to the performances… Keith Sequiera who plays a writer can barely speak in Hindi, forget act. So dull! Izabelle Leite who plays Anu was a lot better when compared to the other actors. She wasn’t bad. Mehak Manwani who plays Nidhi looks very sweet but just can’t act. Wamiqa Gabbi who plays Tanisha was ok but the coloured lenses and straightened hair made her look super fake. Highphill Matthews was good. Zakir Hussain, who’s obviously the most experienced actor in the entire film, was very good. As an authoritative father he played his part very well.

Overall, Sixteen as a movie is quite bad. It was boring, dull and a big letdown adding to the poor performances. Avoid!

Rating– 2/5

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Jul 5 2013

Policegiri- Movie Review


Policegiri movie posterInspired by Dabangg, Singham and Rowdy Rathore and since ‘cop films’ are ‘in’ these days, looks like director K.S.Ravikumar wanted to remake his Tamil hit ‘Saamy’ to create a buzz using the Munnabhai star. Sanjay Dutt is in jail at the right time. Atleast he won’t have to face the media asking him questions about why he would do a film like Policegiri. Gah! Here’s my review.

Sanjay Dutt plays a badass Deputy Police Commissioner- Rudra who makes sure things are in order in the town where’s he posted. He beats up the bad guys for peace and harmony among the people but at the same time also takes bribes from illegal shop owners, smugglers, etc. as long as people are not harmed. He has a girlfriend (Prachi Desai) who is proud of him until she finds out about him taking bribes from politician Nagori (Prakash Raj) who does everything bad to be in the good eyes of people.

Imagine the kind of writing when you have a dialogue like “Born in Mumbai ‘bought up’ in India” (for those who know the difference between bought and brought) and Sanjay Dutt saying it so confidently. The story is so weak that the screenplay and dialogues can barely hold up. There are a few funny scenes and seeti-bajao dialogues though but the rest is quite boring. Some action scenes are well choreographed and the editing of the action scenes is very good. Beautiful cinematography except for a stupid song which is shot entirely in front of a chroma screen and a few other scenes. The styling is ok, the make up is horrible! Prachi Desai looks caked up!

The music by Himesh Reshammiya is not cool and the background score doesn’t do much either.

Sanjay Dutt’s performance is not that great to be honest. Also, at the age of 53, he looks a lot older. So to play a 25-30 yr old guy in love doesn’t suit him at all. Prachi Desai’s character is also quite lame and she doesn’t contribute much to the film. This might be her worst film yet. Where’s the Prachi Desai we saw in Rock On? Sanjay Dutt and Prachi Desai’s chemistry is also non-existent. Prakash Raj is superb! I loved him in Singham and in this film too with the limited scope that he had, he’s done full justice. If it weren’t for him, the film would be a bigger flop. Rajpal Yadav along with Rajat Rawail are there for entertainment but are quite annoying. Om Puri does his best.

If Sanjay Dutt was out, I would throw him back in jail for doing this film. Waste of money!

Rating– 1.5/5



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Jun 21 2013

Shortcut Romeo- Movie Review


Shortcut Romeo posterGoing to watch a movie knowing it’s going to be stupid is kind of fun by itself but not when you have to go alone to a multiplex and spend 300 bucks on it! Ouch! Here’s my take on Neil Nitin Mukesh’s Thromance (Thriller-Romance) film Shortcut Romeo.

Suraj (Neil Nitin Mukesh) is a brat who steals and fleeces people to live a rich life without having to work for it. After getting thrown out of his house, he lands up at his uncle’s place in Mumbai. On a random day he discovers two a Golf Course where he records a video of a rich lady (Ameesha Patel) and an instructor making love. In order to make quick bucks, he threatens Ameesha Patel to let him use her money freely as and when he likes. Things change for the worse when he’s with his friends in South Africa and realises she’s not an easy person to mess with.

I want to know what director Susi Ganesh was thinking! I would say that broadly the concept is interesting and with a little more attention to the story and screenplay, a good thriller could have been made. But there are too many things that make it a blunder film. The screenplay with its many twists and turns is all over the place. There is no flow or smooth transition from one scene to the next. It seems disjointed and amateurish. There are so many shots with a chroma screen behind that you can literally see how fake the set up is. The cinematography by N.K. Ekambram is brilliant but only in the scenes shot in South Africa.  Neil Nitin Mukesh is more like “Needs-a-haircut-Romeo”. Ameesha Patel looks good but poor thing had to do most of her scenes in a terrace-sized balcony. Superb locations in South Africa and gorgeous indoor sets otherwise!

The background score is fantastic! Do not miss the horse background sound at the time when NNM is chased by gundas at a racecourse and he tires them out by running almost 5 laps before the action begins. Pointless? Haha! The music by Himesh Reshammiya is catchy but forgettable. Again, the random flow of events with songs added in the middle spoil whatever interest level Mr. Susi tries to create.

Neil Nitin Mukesh’s performance is ok. He’s just not there yet. Ameesha Patel looks very good but I wish she could act that well too. She has the potential and I think she’d do great at negative roles. Puja Gupta looks hot in the first half and ok in the second. She can barely act. Vrajesh Hirjee is annoying and he just made the film ten times worse with his presence!

Shortcut Romeo is far from entertaining. Waste of money and time!

Rating– 2/5


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Jun 7 2013

Yamla Pagla Deewana 2- Movie Review


yamla-pagla-deewana-2 posterI’ve seen Yamla Pagla Deewana before this and I knew exactly what I was going for. Only, I didn’t think it was going to be so bad! Well, here’s my review

Dharam (Dharmendra) and his notorious son Gajodhar (Bobby Deol) are busy fleecing people in Varanasi as ‘Yamla Pagla Deewana Baba’. They come across a super rich man who has a daughter he wants to marry off in London. Their plan is to go to London and get Bobby married to the rich man’s daughter (Neha Sharma). Well mannered and decent Paramveer (Sunny Deol) turns out to be the architect to change the look of the club the rich man owns. Unfortunately, Paramveer is Dharam’s first son.

I don’t know why this film was made in the first place. Bad story, bad screenplay, bad direction are reasons enough to make this is flop film already! What’s the point in spending money on costumes, hair, make up, actors, etc.? The story by Lynda Deol is written so badly that there’s barely any scope for it to do well as a film. For instance, there’s an orangutan and sumo wrestlers to add humour because Johnny Lever and Anupam Kher who are meant to do comedy in the film just got offered the worst roles of their lives! Please notice both of them. You will agree that their roles are not only pointless but also absolutely ridiculous and not funny at all!

The good thing is that they’ve shot in Scotland and UK and there are some pretty visuals. The cinematographer has captured it all well. I also think the background score by Raju Singh is very good although the music is a letdown.

I wouldn’t boast about the performances because there’s not much to really point out except the fact that it’s always nice to see Dharmendra on screen. He’s a good looking man at his age and tries his best to look and act cool. There was barely any scope to act in this film anyway. Bobby Deol is subtle and good. He’s actually too cool for the film. The sardar look really suits Sunny Deol and even though I can’t say too much about his acting, he looks rather dashing and it’s nice to see him do action scenes with his ‘angry man face’. Anupam Kher and Johnny Lever as I said have wasted their time and done the worst roles of their lives. Neha Sharma and Kristina Akheeva look pretty and that’s that.

As a film Yamla Pagla Deewana 2 is worse than the first part and totally a time waste! Not entertaining at all!

Rating– 1.5/5

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May 25 2013

Hum Hai Raahi Car Ke- Movie Review


hum_hai_raahi_car_ke posterSometimes you just know that a movie is going to be really bad before even seeing it and yet you muster up the courage to go and watch ‘Hum Hai Raahi Car Ke’ on a Saturday morning when most people are either sleeping still or heading to work. Here’s my review.

Priyanka (Adah Sharma and Shammi (Dev Goel) are chaddi buddies (childhood friends) who stay next door to each other. Shammi must go to Pune to attend a wedding which happens to be on the first day of the New Year. He drags Priyanka along who is bound with work responsibilities and decides to attend calls while on their way to celebrate the New Year travelling and at a party in Khandala. Shammi decides to take the old highway route and that’s when their misadventures start.

Director- Producer Jyotin Goel is still an amateur director and you’ll be able to see that when you watch Hum Hai Raahi Car Ke. The story is very simple so what was needed was a good screenplay. Sadly, that’s missing big time. The execution as a result suffers. It starts off decently but gets really annoying and boring very soon. Some of the characters are very badly written! It’s supposed to be a comedy but there are barely any funny scenes. For instance, all of Chunkey Pandey’s roles in the movie are supposed to make you laugh but they will annoy you big time. The cinematography is perhaps the only good in the movie. The movie lacks in so many ways that I can’t sit and list them down here. The music by Sangeet and Siddharth Haldipur is strictly ok.

Adah Sharma is likable in the start but loses her charm in the second half of the movie. She’s not that great an actress but way better than her co-actor Dev Goel. He cannot act and gets very irritating with the way he talks with smile plastered on his face all the time. He looks like Ranveer Singh+Akshay Kumar and has a good body but that’s it. Chunkey Pandey is as I mentioned earlier, annoying. Juhi Chawla’s role in the movie will make you sick! Sanjay Dutt looks like he’s just doing a favour by being in the film and I don’t doubt that’s the case.

I obviously wont recommend a film like this. Not worth your time or money! Avoid!

Rating– 1/5



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Mar 15 2013

3G- Movie Review


3G posterNeil Nitin Mukesh convinced me in his interview that 3G is unlike any other horror movie (no clichés). Also, the romantic song with him and Sonal Chauhan is quite nice. That and the trailer made me think that maybe, just maybe 3G would be like one of those crazy psycho thrillers I love. And what a mistake!

Sam (Neil Nitin Mukesh) and Sheena (Sonal Chauhan) go on a vacation to Fiji islands. While they are stuck together in a musical embrace, Sam’s phone falls into the water and they quickly go buy a new one. This new phone that he buys is weird. He gets random calls in the middle of the night or even during the day and when he picks up, there’s a video of this good looking lady making sexual sounds or of her being killed. Things get scarier when this 3G phone’s ghost gets into Sam and he starts acting like a freak.

Such a sad thing that this movie has 2 directors- Shantanu and Sheershak and both are absolutely clueless about what they want in the film and that translates into a film that’s a complete mess. The screenplay is all over the place with too many things happening all at once making you wonder if it even makes sense.  Even though Sam is possessed and acting like a complete freak, Sheena accepts him with open arms, not even once thinking about informing the police or consulting a doctor (because she looooves him!). They keep changing hotels thinking the ghost will leave them instead of going back home. You’ll be laughing at the stupidity of the so called horror scenes! The cinematography is nice but more so because visually Fiji, Sonal Chauhan and Neil Nitin Mukesh are attractive. Sonal Chauhan is mostly in shorts throughout and looks good but her make up is quite patchy, especially in the tub scene. You’ll see that her face looks pink while the back of her neck looks wheatish. Tch tch tch! When you reach the climax, you’ll be thanking your stars that the movie finally got over. Oh and the ringtone that plays again and again throughout the movie is extremely annoying!

Neil Nitin Mukesh tries too hard to scare you but he’s not got it in him yet. He can do better though if given the right film. Sonal Chauhan is just good looking with a great body and readiness to do kissing scenes. They both look rather confused throughout and I don’t blame them. Mrinalini Sharma as the ghost is possibly the worst one ever.

The music in the film by Mithoon is quite blah except for that one romantic song- ‘Kaise bataoon’ which was one of the reasons for me to go watch this dumb movie!

I certainly don’t recommend it; not even for home viewing!

Rating– 1/5


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